15 months, yo!
I can't believe it's been 15 months since I wrote to you. That is a LONG time, and I have been busy. So here's my accounting of the time passed. Right before my last post, we went from a two income family status down to one. I picked up a metric shit ton of extra hours at work, barely saw my kids, and was struggling under all the pressure. I also gained a few pounds...I'm not proud of it but there you go. I took the winter to wrap my head around life, the universe, and everything I wanted to be when I grow up.
For a while things were looking up...we had a couple of episodes of positive cash flow--just enough to lure us into a false sense of security. Then we were robbed, my entire jewelry box was stolen and my world went sideways. I kinda lost my mind for several weeks. I really just lost touch with reality and neglected my family while I nourished the hurt of losing family valuables, the sense of lost privacy and home invasion, and the feeling of security I had about our remote mountain aerie. So, eat a few more pounds of crap mmkay?
Winter turned to spring and the other false sense of security was gone once more. But I had decided in the interim to stop being a victim. In March, I started a weight training regimen and began once again the attempt at eating clean. I took a new approach to diet, and only have occasional flings with white carbs anymore. I lost 30 lb and 30 inches. I am still tipping around 200 pounds, plus or minus two, but I feel so much better physically. I see muscles starting to trace in the shadows and light of my body plane. I feel STRONG. And that physical strength is helping me deal with my security issues.
I took a class in the spring on statistics, and started a program to become a Family Nurse Practitioner in June. Time is going so fast I can hardly believe it. My children are growing and thriving, my husband is doing cool home projects like getting the deck painted and firewood cut and stacked. It would be nice to have more money, and gosh I sure miss having mom's pearls to wear, but in the end my most dear possessions and loves in life are safe. I feel very lucky overall.
My grandmother made her celestial translation this summer, and it was kind of beautiful and bittersweet to say goodbye to her. She did it her way, she made the choice after a full and wonderful life of 93 years, so no regrets. We had lots of time together to speak our hearts to eachother. My sister gave birth to a beautiful baby and we were so lucky to see them twice this summer! It's a long road between Texas and PA. I miss them more than I can possibly say. My brother and his family are doing great, big important family things and it's awesome. My parents are happy, healthy, and I see them frequently. THESE ARE MY GIFTS.
My in-laws are healthy and happy, and I see them frequently too. My kids are beautiful and smart, and have such bright outlooks. Snuggling them close and giving them kisses is the best part of my day, every day. My husband is staying strong, trying to keep a positive outlook, and really working all his contacts. I have faith in him, and respect him so much for being so resilient. Things are going to start happening soon, I believe.
Things move forward. So, I will keep plugging away at my course work and move forward on my education plan. I will also keep "picking things up and putting them down". I knew eventually exercise would need to be part of my lifestyle, in addition to responsible eating, but I never suspected I would learn to love that part of my day. It took six weeks to start liking it, and start feeling like I couldn't go a day without it. I don't typically become such an advocate but if you aren't exercising, building muscle and getting your body to work with you, it will start working against you in the long run. Find the thing you love. With so many options, there really isn't an excuse. Ain't it fun living in the real world?