Tuesday, October 30, 2012

By Way of Apology

And so it's fall and another season has passed me by...and a hot water heater, and a painting project in the foyer, and a HURRICANE. So I am sitting here not yet aware of the level of destruction out there as the winds continue to gust and throw rain around. No idea if I can even make it home in the morning, hopefully yes because I need to sleep. Desperately.

Time is crawling very slowly right now because all I have time to do is think. I think I must come up with a new plan for the weight loss. Time to buy that South Beach book, maybe...and on the other hand I cannot stop intellectualizing my weight, my plans, and the possibility of becoming a "fad" or "yo-yo" dieter (although both terms imply some sort of movement, which might be nice). I know ultimately I cannot do this without exercise but even then, I walk up to this thought and laugh, then dance away. I hate getting sweaty unless there is some immediate gratification like painting or mowing the grass!

But I am living right now not only for myself but also my 3 kids, my dog, and yes even the dear husband upon occasion. And I have projects on the back burner that I would like to stir up. And, just like always, life is fluid and things keep popping up! How do I do my life and still make time to plan meals and chart a course of movement for my meat puppet?

And really...it's October 30th. Holiday season. Why start now? It just started to be cookie season and let's face it--will power is intangible on a regular day. And cookies are so tangibly delicious.

How can I show my kids that I make time to take care of myself and lead by way of example to them?

No answers here, and sadly the apology that was originally intended for you the reader now goes only to myself. Sorry I am so full of excuses. I hope I will forgive me one day and move on...off the couch, onto the exercise bike and into some size 12 jeans.

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