S'winter 2012/13

Here we are in a new season as evidenced by the snowy scenes below! And I am still fat. What's worse, I am fatter than before...so all my theories of holding steady at 214 have been blown to smithereens. 218.7 was my number this morning and I feel it in my clothes and bra and everything. A good friend and I were commiserating this weekend over how we only feel comfortable in yoga pants, and wishing jeans were a viable option.

How does it come to this?  Even my doctor was a little sad, since we had created a plan for exercise and weight loss at my last appointment and I so obviously had not followed through. My only excuse is I have a few lab numbers that are out of whack, affecting my energy and feeling of wellness. So now I have to get on top of that stuff as well, but let's be up front here.



My house, first snow of the season!



Here is the view from the front door.

It's winter. I am not going to be starting a running program with this kind of weather looming out there. And it's the holidays, capped off by my son's birthday right after the New Year. So am I really going to start a diet at this point--and the short answer is no. However I must be feeling similar to the folks around me so we are getting a plan together to play Biggest Loser at my workplace in mid-January. Three years ago (before my last pregnancy), we played and I lost 44 lb. so hopefully we can have some more of that success.

You can totally recognize the changes that extra weight causes to your body, your sensation, and how you approach life if you've lost weight before. I really want to get that back! Probably will not post again until after the holidays, so I will have more detail for you on the plan at that point. The hubby sounding like he really wants to be on board this time too, so the moral support will be awesome and multifaceted. Right now it's looking like Weight Watchers and some workout videos. Stay tuned!

By Way of Apology

And so it's fall and another season has passed me by...and a hot water heater, and a painting project in the foyer, and a HURRICANE. So I am sitting here not yet aware of the level of destruction out there as the winds continue to gust and throw rain around. No idea if I can even make it home in the morning, hopefully yes because I need to sleep. Desperately.

Time is crawling very slowly right now because all I have time to do is think. I think I must come up with a new plan for the weight loss. Time to buy that South Beach book, maybe...and on the other hand I cannot stop intellectualizing my weight, my plans, and the possibility of becoming a "fad" or "yo-yo" dieter (although both terms imply some sort of movement, which might be nice). I know ultimately I cannot do this without exercise but even then, I walk up to this thought and laugh, then dance away. I hate getting sweaty unless there is some immediate gratification like painting or mowing the grass!

But I am living right now not only for myself but also my 3 kids, my dog, and yes even the dear husband upon occasion. And I have projects on the back burner that I would like to stir up. And, just like always, life is fluid and things keep popping up! How do I do my life and still make time to plan meals and chart a course of movement for my meat puppet?

And really...it's October 30th. Holiday season. Why start now? It just started to be cookie season and let's face it--will power is intangible on a regular day. And cookies are so tangibly delicious.

How can I show my kids that I make time to take care of myself and lead by way of example to them?

No answers here, and sadly the apology that was originally intended for you the reader now goes only to myself. Sorry I am so full of excuses. I hope I will forgive me one day and move on...off the couch, onto the exercise bike and into some size 12 jeans.

Hungry? Thirsty? Bored? Emotional Rescue?

So I just ate some dinner here in the wee hours, and if I think really hard I will notice that my stomach is full but my brain feels hungry. And now I want to eat, and my tummy is like "Yeah, bring me some M&M's!" What's up with that??

I have read a lot of food blogs, lifestyle articles and diet/exercise journals and many of them indicate that often times a hungry feeling may mean instead that you are really thirsty and just have confused body signals. In my personal case this must surely be a bunch of malarky. Anyone who has seen me at work OR at home knows damn well I always have a cuppa tea or an ice water at my fingertips. I drink more liquid than almost anyone I know.

Since it's not thirst, and since I just ate dinner, the other two reasons for eating now emerge as options. I do tend to feed my emotions and my rationale goes a bit like this: "I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, cheat on my husband, or perform lewd public acts...so if everyone needs to have a vice I choose cookies." Or maybe like this: "This day has been complete hell, I was a horrible mommy today and so I must sweeten myself up with a few bites of this blueberry muffin and a cuppa tea." You get the picture. I even gave my Hubs an ultimatum one night after being driven particularly nuts by my three adorable children:  (in a hysterical tone) "Do you want me to be a drunk or a fatty, because right now I need something to keep me going!" And since he is a good and generous spirit, he peeled me open a peppermint patty and proposed a different option.

So for right now I am not at all emotional--kind of flat but not really upset or anything. It must be the boredom. When I have my book with me I can zone out and not worry about eating for what feels like days but here, at this place, at 3AM, I feel like I simply must have some peanut butter M&M's or time will not move forward! It's the boredom that makes me eat and it's one more reason why I truly feel as if night shift might just be killing me in the long run. It's an ongoing discussion at the homestead but for right now I am stuck, unless I can figure out how to grocery shop for $100 a month or less and pay off my car.

What do you think, does work boredom make you eat more?

Summer's Bounty, and Back to Reality.

So maybe you all have been wondering where the Wench got to after the Great Laundry Debacle of 2012? Here is my chronicle...what did you do with your summer?

The washer & dryer on our new, home-made pedestal. I recommend this plan, which we modified slightly to fit our room and laundry baskets:  http://ana-white.com/2011/01/sausha%E2%80%99s-washerdryer-pedestals

Some other projects I located on Pinterest and made my own. How much do I love Pinterest?  Words could never describe.

Main crop were some very robust cucumbers, with a few handsful a week of string beans.

Apparently your soil needs to be REALLY SOFT for carrots. Our soil was soft by my standards but not soft enough for these babies to get bigger. This is the pathetic extent of my entire carrot crop!

Made some handmade soap (onegoodthingbyjillee.com) and decorated some jars to give as gifts when we went to visit the relations on Long Island in July.

On the left side, my first batch of pickles...a version of bread-and-butter that I slapped together. On the right, I found this recipe for vanilla brandy-flavored pears on Putsup.com, which I modified because I had no brandy. These are Cake Vodka flavored and we will try them out soon.

Peach picking was awesome with the kids, then I spent the rest of the day putting them up. These are cinnamon flavored freezer peaches...hopefully they will be awesome on top of some ice cream!

These are your standard peaches in heavy syrup. It's my first time as a canner and I went with some straightforward recipes with a few exceptions.

These are Habanero Sweet Pickles. Basically sweet pickles with 6 habanero peppers in each jar. Pack a nice little wallop!

Peach Jam! Popped 8 on the shelf and 1 in the fridge and we tried it last night on pancakes. Heaven!

This is Thing 2 with our pumpkin harvest. The vines are dying and that's as big as they are going to get but I love the shapes!

So this is what I have been up to. However, school is back in session and I am gonna get back on the wagon! Due to the beauty and taste of summer fresh food we have been eating fairly healthy around here and since I can now preserve some things, we hope to keep it going year-round. I checked in on the scale at work this week and I am happy to report that in spite of the water I seem to be hanging on to right now, I am at 211.4 lb.

And today was another accomplishment: I got on the exercise bike and I didn't hate it. And the kids let me go at it hard for 5 minutes. I am hoping to get them used to it so I can get a total of 20 minutes each day while they hang out in the playroom. Will re-measure next week to get back on schedule and hopefully the healthful eating will commence immediately. (Let's be real, I am sitting down with a bowl of chips right now to watch Hunger Games--I am only human!)  Here goes nothing!!!

Laundry, Meltdowns and Milestones

SO...as of Tuesday it will be 49 days since my washing machine died. This single event has led to one of the biggest BeckWench meltdowns in the history of my family, but more on that later. God bless my mother-in-law who has been awesome pitching in to fight our dirty laundry with her own machines, because without her I may not have survived. Right now the pile of laundry that was up to my armpits is gone, and tomorrow I will have fresh baskets of folded laundry to put away, as if done by some kind of sweet laundry leprechaun fairy (a truly magickal creature). Why 49 days, you may ask? Well I have a home warranty supposed to be covering the purchase of a new washer and we are just waiting to hear when and how to get the new one home. My hands are tied unless I want to lay out the cash myself--and trust me, I sincerely do not want that!

It's no fun being in a house with 3 children, a dog, and a husband with no way to clean everyone's clothes and towels and such. Top that off with vacation plans, a stomach bug that will not quit, and an out-of-town trip for this Wench on her own without the kids, and what you get looks more like this:




Except it was the top of my head blowing off, not the top of a mountain.


Long story short, we are surviving the laundry crisis and hope to hear Monday or Tuesday about the new washing machine. Which will be awesome since I finally made that powdered laundry detergent recipe I found on Pinterest! Cannot wait to test it out, it smells so yummy and clean!

As promised in my last posting, I ate my heart out at the wedding...which was over the top. I wish I could tell you I had tried everything but there was too much!  And the eating kept on going right up to this moment. The eating plan resumes tomorrow, now that I have restocked the fridge with fruits and veggies, but will have one last hurrah with my cheddar cheese tonight. And so we proceed to the milestone portion of tonight's discussion.



A milestone. Looks a lot like a grave stone right? My personal milestone marks those pounds that are dead to me!

 210 pounds. You may ask how I achieved this feat whilst eating like a bird (my weight in food every day) and I will tell you, the stress of the laundry problem combined with all the sequelae has caused me to shit my brains out for the last week. Seriously. I am sure the rich food did not help at all! Hopefully when I get back on track tomorrow my gut will settle down somewhat. The problem is, I am still hungry! I don't feel sick, but everything is passing right on through me.

Sorry for the TMI, but I did promise to be frank with you during this journey. With that in mind there will be some more painting projects occurring, and with any luck the horrible fingerprints will be covered up by paint that is more conducive to washing than the crappy primer already in place.

I am proud to announce I will have laundry facilities back in the house as of Tuesday the 24th. I am going to hit the snooze on the blog until then because my diet has been less than fabulous and I still have so much to do around here in addition to running to a laundromat. Will be back online in August I promise!

*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

500 Page Views!

Hey guys, you are AWESOME! I can't believe I have had 500+ views in just one month. Thanks so much for reading along!

Some day, one of us may look this good and actually have time to read and sunbathe again!

Happy Independence Day. It means more than "Happy 4th of July" don't you think?  Check out this cool informational from The Weather Channel:

Independence Day Facts

I had a really rough week in which just functioning in my life seemed like a little much for me, so here's the update as of this past Sunday: I am down to 211.2. And while I could not be any happier with the weight loss, I cheated my ass off completely last week so being proud of myself is a big fat lie. The truth of the matter is I hustled the whole time, ate whatever was near my mouth, and barely sat down for a week.

And the beat goes on. No menu this week, because it's already Wednesday and I am leaving Friday for a wedding and some Becky time (as opposed to Mommy time or Nurse time). It finally occurred to me today that I am on vacation for a week and I am so jacked. Totally pulled me out of my funk, and I was in deep let me tell ya!  We all have those days...mine was a doozy, hope yours are not that drastic.

Monday night I made an egg sandwich and had some watermelon on the side. 2 pieces of bacon, english muffin, real butter, and one egg with a slice of cheese, yummy! Approximately 10 WW points+.

Tuesday night I made the infamous burger ring, in pizza flavor, 3 sections for about 11 WW points+. This is my own personal knockoff from Pampered Chef inspiration and the sauce was made from ALL FRESH VEGETABLES. We did eat it in beef flavor as opposed to venison which kicked up the point content.

Wednesday night (tonight) I had about 3oz of steak on a shish kebab with no sauce, some of my yummy lentil salad (3 pts+), a small scoop of potato salad, and 2 oreos. Nobody's perfect right?  I am not really going to be looking for a weight loss this week with all that's going on though.

OK 5 minutes until I can catch up with True Blood, will post again before a possible Lake George, NY vacation next week hopefully!!!

Week in Review: Sunday 6/25

I painted and decorated my dining room this week and I am so totally stoked. It looks awesome, the color is great, and I added a Pinterest idea. I just love Pinterest, don't you? I am hoping to post some photos of the living room, wash room, and dining room projects so stay tuned for the updates. Right now I am still putting up some pictures on the walls and I only have my camera phone to use for snapshots...pretty lousy. Hopefully I can get this blog thing going on!

As far as the menu goes I had good days and bad, mostly me screwing up and trying to recover. Monday I did make eggs for dinner, and as predicted I did not want to cook on Tuesday. I used my splurge points and we ordered from Snuzzles, a fantastic local steak and pizza shop. Sam and I shared a Snuzzle Stuffer (look it up, so dang good!) no doubt loaded with KNC's. Wednesday I was all prepared to get back on track when the heat wave kicked in for real, and when my Mother-In-Law (a diamond lady!) called to see if she could bring over fried chicken and jump in the pool after, I said HECK YEAH! I did limit myself to one piece of breaded, fried, chicken-breasty goodness...and a few chips. Thursday I was back in the game though!  I made the Beets n' Sweets recipe from allrecipes.com, it was a major hit. My dad and my uncle, not big beet eaters, both really enjoyed it and my little gal munched her way through a pile also. Mom and I naturally both loved it as anticipated. I served the dish with a side of sausage...bratwurst for the guys and jalapeno chicken sausage for Mom and I.

Friday I made the WW recipe for meatless baked ziti, and I served it with salad and asiago spinach chicken sausage for Hubs. It was really yummy especially since I made my own fresh sauce as taught to me by my little sister Squench. Saturday night we ate some steak on the barbie, some grilled marinated zucchini and yellow squash, and maybe another salad. The Hominy recipe did not get made due to the aforementioned suprise Kickass Ninja Calorie attack from the fried chicken but we will have it on the menu next week. Saturday I brought leftover ziti to work and Sunday I ate a portobello burger out with my dad. It was so good! I didn't eat the roll though, too full.

So here is the plan for next week's menu. I am not going to stick to a day schedule simply because we will be travelling Thursday, at Dorney Park on Friday, and having a big shindig family reunion at my house on Saturday. Too many plans up in the air!  The boys are super excited about this though:



Dinosaurs Alive! A new exhibit at Dorney Park.

 Menu: we are going to try some more kid-friendly recipes so my boys will eat more of the healthy stuff and less of the junk. I will likely add veggies on the side in the form of a salad or maybe some steamed fresh veggies. We even sometimes have fruit as a side dish, which is always popular with the young'uns.

Chicken Ropa Vieja and Warm Corn Salad, recipes from Skinnytaste.com

Bacon Lettuce Wraps and Oven-fried Pickle Chips from Skinnytaste.com

And last but not least:
Hungry Girl's Fiber-ific Fried Cheese Sticks and grilled sausage from Sam's Club.



This is the wrong flavor though...going to cook up the apple flavored one!



I have this book and the recipes are so great. Oven-frying with Fiber One really jacks up the nutrition, trust me!!

I am happy to announce that my weight is down to 212.4 and I am feeling pretty decent about it. We were joking about dieting last weekend and I think everyone feels the same. "I have been dieting all morning and I am still not skinny!" Well what can you do! Just keep trucking along. I can feel my body underneath all this blubber and I do think it's possible to get back to my goal. Stay with me!