Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Confessional #1

I promised a confession right?  So here goes nothing.  I am 217 pounds today.  That is what I left the hospital at after both Peter and Genevieve were born.  G was born 19 months ago so all those excuses I allowed myself about losing the baby weight are done--this is me, I am the baby, and I own the weight.  The feel of my skin alone is disgusting and when I sit down, my gut is in my lap.  How's that for a mental image?

I don't know what my measurements are, I will get them done this weekend and add them to this post as an edit. Here are the before-and-afters from last time:
This is in late January of 2009, this dress fits me right now just like in the photo.  : (  Size 18.

This is just a few months later in June, check out the lack of double chin and the size-12 shorts. Some of my clothes at that time were even 10's, and I was easily fitting medium scrubs at work.

So what I need to do is get on the plan.  Looking at myself is really tough right now, let alone feeling my skin walk around on me.  Just a few months...I can do that again right?  I don't want to be a yo-yo dieter, I want to change my life and myself forever. I want to be fit, have energy to swing my kid in the pool again, and enjoy not using food as emotional comfort.  I was so much happier, and actually I felt taller, if that makes any sense.  I had a lot of support. I needed a lot of support. Here's hoping that you all will be there for me again--I surely need more support than ever.

There are going to be highs and lows, and I plan to document it all for posterity. And for my posterior! Wish me luck.  The plan goes into implementation on Saturday, although tweaks have already kicked in.  Phase 1 of the Squat Team health plan, by the way, will likely be home-made "Bisquick" using some organic whole wheat flour.  Stay tuned.


  1. I am really proud of you. Putting yourself out there is the hardest thing to do. It's also the best first step to your "new you".... I have always found that when I want to change something about myself, I tell someone. It keeps me motivated and held accountable. Anything you need, my friend and I am right there with you! One of these days we have to get together over salads... Lol. I only live an hour away!

    -Jess Barnak

  2. You are courageous to put it all out there. For me, Weight Watchers was the way to get my "diet" on track. I had to control my portions, and it was such an adventure, cooking for flavor! I lost 60 lbs and then got lazy and gained half that back so I'm about to return to my flavorful portions to lose what I gained and then some! Whatever you choose to do, remember to not forget to do it always. It's in the forgetting that we regain lbs we lost. May only good foods, proper portions, and many new flavors be in your future ;)